Usagi & the Internet Part 01
by MarsFireSoul2500
Summary: Usagi discovers the vast possibilities of her new computer


It was around 2:30pm when Usagi returned home from school.  
Usagi: Hello? Is anyone here?  
She walked into the kitchen.  
Usagi: Strange... Where's Mom?  
Usagi saw a note hanging on the refrigerator and read it._  
_  
_Usagi, your father and I have gone out of town for a few nights. We apologize, but it was on short notice and we had to leave right away. No need to worry - Shingo will be staying at a friend's and money for dinner is on the counter next to the emergency numbers. P.S. The computer we ordered a week ago came in today. Your father has hooked it up and it's in the guest room. Don't stay up too late on it.   
Love, Mom_

Usagi looked around  
Usagi: No one's here, eh?  
She chuckled evilly at first, then broke out into a very loud and annoying laughter.  
Usagi: Computer equals Internet equals...  
Her eyes bulged and her smile grew huge.  
Usagi: PORN!

S title screen and title music  
Sailor Moon S  
Usagi & the Internet  
(Part 01)

She ran upstairs and into the guest room.  
Usagi: Computer? Yoohoo, are you alive?  
Just then, Luna walked in.  
Luna: What in heavens are you doing, Usagi-chan?  
Usagi tapped the monitor.  
Usagi: I'm trying to figure out how this thing works...  
Luna: Well, that's easy, Usagi-can.  
She said, walking over.  
Luna: You just have to press the 'on' button.  
Usagi: Which button?  
Luna jumped up on the desk and showed Usagi.  
Usagi: WAIT! Let me do it!  
She yelled. Then she picked up Luna in one arm and pressed the button with her free hand. The computer hummed and lit up.  
Usagi: OH MY GOD, IT'S GONNA EXPLODE!  
She freaked out and threw Luna at the computer. It shut off. Luna lay on the floor, dead from the blow to the head. Usagi picked her up and walked over to the open window.  
Usagi: Yea, very informative Luna! Bitch...  
she said, tossing her out the window.  
Bum: Oh! Dinner!  
someone yelled from outside. Usagi closed the window and went back over to the computer. She thought to herself for a while, then pressed the button again. No lights or humming this time - Instead, a big blue screen popped up and a male voice screamed  
Computer: WELCOME!  
Usagi fainted.

When she finally came to, she saw a sentence on the screen. "Welcome to the internet!" She went over and sat in the chair in front of the monitor.  
Usagi: Hmm... How do you search for PORN!  
She looked around the room.  
Usagi: I'll call Haruka-san! Maybe she knows!  
So she picked up the cordless phone and dialed the number. Michiru answered the phone.  
Michiru: Hello?  
Usagi: Hiya, Michiru-san! Is Haruka-san home?  
There was a silence.  
Usagi: Michiru? Errrr... Hello?  
Michiru: First kisses... Mine was with Brad, the cutest guy in school. It seems like, like it was yesterday, it was so magical.  
Usagi: Eh... okay... um... Is Haruka-san there?  
Michiru: Like in fifteenth century Italy, CLICK there was a strict law about kissing. It decreed if a young couple kissed each other, they must be married.  
Usagi: Haruka-san! I want to speak with Haruka-san!  
Michiru: My sweet Brad... I wonder where he is today...  
Usagi: OK, WE GET IT MICHIRU-SAN! NOW PUT HARUKA-SAN ON THE FUCKIN' PHONE!  
Michiru scoffed.  
Michiru: Fine! Here!  
Usagi sighed.  
Haruka: Hello?  
Usagi: HEY! How's life!  
Haruka: Oh, hey meatball butt. Wudda ya need?  
Usagi hesitated.  
Usagi: Well... I was just wondering if... maybe...  
Haruka: Stop beating around my bush, just say it!  
Usagi: If you could tell me how to look for porn on the internet?  
Haruka started coughing and almost choked. When she was finished, she asked  
Haruka: PORN!  
Michiru screamed in the background, then there was a loud thud.  
Usagi: Uh... I- Is Michiru-san okay?  
Haruka started laughing then hung up the phone.  
Usagi: Very weird...  
Usagi put the phone down and turned back to the computer screen.  
Computer: YOU'VE GOT MAIL!  
Usagi almost fell out of her chair.  
Usagi: Gotta turn that volume down...  
Then she clicked her mailbox and opened the email from 'SexyLezbo525'.__

_WEBCAMS, FETISH GALLERIES, VIDEOS, AND MORE! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLICK __HERE FOR INSTANT ACCESS TO THE HOTTEST SEX ANYWHERE ON THE NET!_

Usagi clicked the button (obviously) since it was exactly what she was looking for. What popped up on the screen next almost made her heart stop.  
Usagi: IT'S PORN! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
Soon after, she discovered the print button and went 'majorly' crazy.  
Sound of printer printing and Usagi laughing maniacally

_End Part 1... _


End file.
